Turn the other cheek… what if you don’t have time before the next slap comes? Sometimes life feels like that. You keep taking hits and before you can turn the other cheek another one comes. Today it happened literally.
I have been taking care of a woman from the mountains who is probably about 17 years old, had a (about) two year old little girl, has been widowed and remarried, is pregnant, and dropped a huge stone on her legs and broke both of them. After a painful 3 day trek down the mountains to a province called “laghman”, where she had two surgeries. One of which was an “ex-fix”. Meaning she had an external rod with screws in her leg.
Yesterday, I went to her house to check on her (this is an endeavor in and of itself that takes over an hour, just to get there). She is staying at one of the poorest places I have ever seen. There are four families living in the “yard” which is more like a compound. Each family has a room all of which open to the outdoors. Two of the rooms have no doors or windows. This is Kabul, which is very high (in the mountains) and very cold.
She didn’t know where to go to get the ex-fix removed, so I agreed to take her to a local hospital here that is good at orthopedics. WE arrived into chaos, which is the case in just about every hospital in Afghanistan. Her mother and her friend were with her, as well as my coworker and I. We took her to the female emergency room and sat to wait for the doctor. There is a woman in the er who is kind of like an information giver. She was pretty well dressed, which usually means at least partly educated. She seemed fascinated with us, which happens when I show up with a group of women. It took a while, and the others were kicked out because we were too many people for a small place.
The doctor came and looked at her and ordered an x-ray to make sure there was no infection in the bone. So, I took her down to the x-ray department in a wheelchair (the chair leaving a little bit to be desired). We got there, and got her x-ray and then sat outside to wait for it to be developed. As we waited, I realized that I needed to pay for the x-ray. I reached to my shoulder to get my purse, and it wasn’t there. I frantically looked around me and looked in my back pack (had my computer with me too.) But, it wasn’t there. I felt very panicky. In the meantime the man at the door of the x-ray room who lets people in and out kept following me around asking for “Shirni” which means candy. In this case it meant a bribe. Ugh!
I told my coworker, Hadassah, and she went back to the ER to look. She didn’t see it, so this man, Wahid, came with me to look for it. We looked on and under every bed, and behind every curtain. It was nowhere to be seen. I started to have a very sinking feeling in my heart as the truth sank in. Someone had stolen my purse. Then I started thinking of all that was in it. $600, my credit cards, insurance card, nursing license, all of my keys, glasses, well, really like most women, my purse is a treasure trove… I kept praying and trying to remember that I will have what I need, but it was hard to stay focused. I went into the x-ray room to look, and they said the x-ray was ready, but wouldn’t give it to me until I gave them Af100. Wahid was there and told them that someone had stolen my purse, and they guy just shrugged and said that he wouldn’t give it to me without the Af100. Wahid rolled his eyes and gave her the money.
We then went out to fetch the lady and go back ot the ER. Wahid then handed me Af 500 (about $9.5) That is a lot for a man who only makes $100 a month. He said that he was ashamed of his country that would steal from me when I was trying to help.
While we were waiting for the doctor to come and take the screws out, I was standing in the hall with the other ladies talking. They were really sad and angry about my purse. Suddenly, the well-dressed woman form the ER came out with my purse! I hollered and hugged her and kissed her, then she started asking for “shirni”. I told her that it was enough that she had done a good thing before the eyes of God, and the other women told her that the “shirni” I was giving was helping the poor in Afghanistan. She then slapped my face! And before I could react, she slapped me again. Then I started to say something and she slapped me again! I was so angry, and then she walked away. (Actually I think she ended up slapping me about 4-5 times, but I lost count).
That shook me up, but I was distracted by the women telling me to make sure that all of my money was there. They shielded me while I crouched in a corner to look and it was all there. I took out 500 and a100 to repay Wahid. They all saw the 100 and told me to give it to that woman, so I gave it to Hadassah to give to her, which she did.
The doctor finally came in, and began to take out the screws. I protested that they hadn’t given her anything for pain, and he said that he couldn’t because she was pregnant. I convinced him to get a local, and that woman came in while we were waiting, and grabbed my cheek (the same one she had slapped) and pinched hard and pulled it away from my face. She said what is Af100? It isn’t anything! I pulled away from her and said, everyone here wants money form me. I am trying to help this woman and everyone just wants something from me! Then she laughed and said she was only joking. At that point I was near to tears. Then the doctor and Wahid started to unscrew the ex-fix, and I told them to stop until she had the local and they just laughed and said that it doesn’t hurt, even though the woman was obviously in terrible pain. I told them she was in pain and they shouldn’t think it is funny. Finally, they got all of the bolts undone and gave her a local anesthesia to take out the first screw. But they didn’t wait for it to take effect. They gave the shot then unscrewed it from her bone! I just kept holding and kissing her hands and praying for strength for her and myself.
It was finally over. They put a hard cast on her and we helped her to the car, where 4 new blankets, huge bags of flour, rice, beans, oil and washing powder awaited her/and her family. The car took her home while Hadassah and I waited for some other friends who just happened to be at the same hospital at the same time.
It was a rather trying day, full of good things, yet, my heart has once again been slammed by accusations of being rich and not caring, and having my face smacked by someone who I had only been nice to… So, I came home and ate chocolate.
I am pretty sure that the woman had stolen my purse and had thought she could get a big amount of money to give it back. If she had known that I was only going to give her Af100 (about $2.25) She wouldn’t have given it back. Sigh…
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