This is a great link, and I wish I had time to read all of the comments. I was also bullied as a child. Most of the time it was verbal, but there were a few physical abuses along the way. I am not sure why me, I think that it is because everyone knew it would make me cry. I have an extremely painful memory from when I was in the 5th grade that was brought up last week. I was too young to have to deal with an adult situation.
Some things I have mulled over as an adult. Some of that bullying has made me what I am today and though it still doesn't take much to make me cry, I am tough enough to stay in Afghanistan against all of the odds. Does that mean I would go through it all again. No! The world is not as it was meant to be and bullying is part of its fallenness. Looking back, I realize that no one who bullied me had a healthy home life. That doesn't excuse them, it is just an observation. Also, I didn't have a healthy view of who I was. Had I had that, it probably wouldn't have bothered me much, and they wouldn't have had fun doing it.
All of that being said, there are things parents can do. First give your kids instruction! Don't allow them to bully others! And if your kid is bullied, get them out of the situation. I would have loved to move schools. I was too ashamed to tell my mom what had been going on. (Though she knows just about everything now. It wasn't her fault at all.) But there are signs. If your kid comes home from school every day and cries, or often fakes illnesses... ask! Give them a healthy, safe place to talk, and don't judge. Don't give them advice. It doesn't help. Telling a kid not to cry when people are yelling abuses at them constantly does not help! Let them know how valuable as a person that they are. Let them know that they are so valuable in God's eyes, that He humbled Himself, took the form of a man, was bullied and beaten Himself, and died, because He loved them so much. Thankfully, He overcame death, and was raised again, so that we can have a new life.
I still struggle with the after effects of being bullied. I would rather call it abuse, because that is exactly what it is. But His mercies are new every morning, and He is still forming me into the beautiful vessel that He wants me to be.
Oh, here is a funny thing, I went to my 20 year high school reunion a few years back, and everyone, even some who had been abusive to me, had fond memories of me... go figure.
3 comments:
I am reading an excellent book right now, at least so far called Queen Bees and Wannabes... the overaching theme is bullying among young girls...
We are already experiencing it with Savvy not even at school but in the neighborhood... and I didnt even know how to help!
Thanks so much for this link! 5 is tooo young to be routinely harmed by other children!
Oh April, I am so sorry. That is so hard. I am not sure of the answer either. Part of the fallenness of man. I can't believe when people say they don't believe that children aren't inherently sinful. Children can be incredibly mean to one another! I'll pray for Savvy. Keep letting her know who she is. If she is assured of her identity, it helps. Miss you!
Miss you, too! Your sweet momma got your goodies from me today.
I decided to pull savvy out of that group of girls, and it seems to have helped. I have also talked to her about friends vs. "others". She can readily identify "good" friends, and we are working on how to deal with the ones that don't have friendship as a motive. We've been asking for provision of a good, faithful companion for her. We have had some encouragement in that area, too. I am praying for safety for you and mom as travel time approaches.
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