The simple things

When your child falls chronically ill, life changes. It becomes more solemn, colors seem a little less vibrant, laughter becomes harder to find. We do our best to practice gratefulness, we try to mention three things we are thankful for every day, and honestly, there's a lot. But we're also extremely weary, as our little one refuses to sleep. We research, medications, supplements, detoxing baths, and when theres a slight remission, we wonder which one worked. We have to fight with doctors to get the right tests and treatments. We have to protect our other child as this illness causes real psychotic breaks which can be extremely violent. Every day is a soul crushing battle between despair and hope.

Today, we went hiking at Cadron Settlement. It was a HARD won battle just to get there, as our little one did not want to go. We actually got a number of new bruises on ourselves just getting her in her car seat. But, oh how it was worth it! It was so cold, but for some reason, cold seems to help her, perhaps its just fighting the inflammation that threatens to consume her brain. I don't know, but I'm just grateful. Both children ran and explored and squealed with delight at collecting acorns and finding bridges to cross. For the first time in a long time, our kids were able to just be kids. It was glorious! I don't know how long we'll see this side of her, it may be a couple of hours, maybe a couple of days. But we glimpsed the simple delight of childhood today, and we will rejoice!

My prayer is that the kids will remember these times, fleeting as they are. 

Transition and the ugliness of pride

It's been a really long time since I sat before my computer and wrote a blog. I've been struggling terribly since I returned from Afghanistan. Transition is hard, they say. "They" are always so full of great wisdom. I got married to the most amazing man. All of those years I struggled with singleness, all of those years, I accused God of withholding from me, all of those wasted moments pining, when I should have been trusting. God is faithful. He had the one who was tailor made for me, but wasn't ready. I should also mention I wasn't ready. Oh, in my pride I thought I was. But as always God had to break me before He could use me to be a wife. I wake up every morning thanking God for the man sleeping beside me. I couldn't have dreamed up a better one. I thank Him for our marriage and for all we have collectively been through that has taught us to appreciate each other.

Our marriage is good. I'd say amazingly good, great even.

Yet, life is still hard. I have a difficult time leaving my house. The world in America is so big, busy, and confusing. In Afghanistan, I knew who I was and what I was doing. I knew how to get things done. I knew that what I was doing had meaning. I suffered, daily, badly, but I knew it was for a higher cause. Yesterday, I read this:10 Things Missionaries Won’t Tell You I had to agree. There were so many things that I couldn't put into a newsletter. I still won't write it all, if you want to know, ask me. My dear friend, Dr. Jerry told me once that he didn't think anyone would believe me if I told my whole story, but that he'd write the forward to my book as a witness that it was all true. Sadly, Jerry is gone, another loss to so many...

Here in America, I don't know who I am. I'm a wife, so I start out Monday mornings planning meals for the week, making a shopping list, then heading out. But, I'm afraid. I go into the store and though I've explored and I know where everything is that I need, I'm afraid I'll do something wrong, or stupid. My feet are injured, so it's a double whammy in that I need to use the motorized cart.

I want to swim, because it's one of the few exercises that I can do. But I go to the pool, and I'm afraid again that I'll mess something up, or get in someone's way, or do something stupid.

I want to socialize, so I invite people over for dinner, but I never feel like I'm doing it right. It's scary, because I don't remember what the norm is here, and I've never been a married couple before, so I'm not sure how to be...

Last night, we had our church home group over, and yes, it's terrifying to me, because I don't think I can do it well enough, and any criticism just confirms to me that I'm just not good enough.

So, this morning, I read this: One Way to Kick Your Fears to the Curb at the Start of A New Week and I was convicted to the bone. I need to not care if I look stupid. I need to let go of the fear of messing up and just embrace the mess that I currently am. I've become a perfectionist, and anything less than perfect can't exist in me, which makes me ugly, anxiety-ridden and worst of all: unloving.

So, here I am, this mess, learning that God still loves me, learning that though I can't do much to serve anyone right now, because of my feet, He still adores me, because I'm His, and that's all that matters. I can lay down my pride and fear, and not care how foolish I look to the rest of the world, because I'm loved. And, when I lay down my pride and fear, I'm free to love others even in their own messiness. 

about boycotting

I realize that there are worthy causes everywhere, and if we boycotted everything that had something unethical about it, we would sit in a cave and starve to death. Sometimes though we need to stand up and be heard. Boycotting Nestle covers many areas. It seems that no matter what your pet issue is, Nestle has crossed it. And for me, the lives of babies and children and the mental health of poor uneducated women who find out that their children did not have to die is worth giving up my make up, instant coffee, and hot chocolate. There are alternatives. Is a baby's life worth putting in a little extra effort to find a different brand? Perhaps to you, it seems far away and theoretical, but to that mother whose baby is not in the grave, it is very real, and very worth it! Oh, and if you are giving something up, let those companies know that you are doing it and why. Be respectful, but let them know!

Nestle boycott

So, don't think that boycotting Nestle is easy for me. I love Maybelline mascara. When I wear it, I look as though I am wearing false eyelashes. In a word, beautiful. However will we choose beauty over the lives of babies? Also, Nestle has a huge share of the market on all Western products in Afghanistan. Will really have to do homework on what products are theirs, and either finding alternatives, or going without... PTL for Hersheys!

Nestle products

Here is a list of different products that you may not konw are Nestle. Of course, anything labeled Nestle, but I was surprised at some. I have taken off the international brands, as most of my readers are Americans:



Cereals

Cinnamon Toast Crunch
Cheerios (outside US, Canada and Australia)
Cini Minis
Honey Nut Cheerios (outside US, Canada and Australia)
Oat Cheerios
Cookie Crisp
Crunch (Cereal)
Fitnesse
Force Flakes
Chocapic
Gold Flakes
Golden Nuggets
Golden Grahams
Honey Stars
Koko Krunch
Milo Cereals
Nestlé Corn Flakes
Nesquik
Shreddies
Shredded Wheat
Clusters
Trix


Yogurt

Fruit Selection Yogurt (Philippines)
Longa Vida (Portugal)
Munch Bunch
Ski


Coffee


International Roast
Nescafé
Sunrise (India)
Nespresso
Partner's Blend
Taster's Choice


Water

Aberfoyle
Aquapod
Arrowhead
Buxton
Contrex

Deer Park
Deep Spring
Hépar
Ice Mountain
Henniez
Nestlé Aquarel
Nestlé Vera
Ozarka
Perrier
Poland Spring
Powwow
Pure Life
San Pellegrino
San Bernardo
Viladrau
Vittel
Zephyrhills

Other drinks

Nestea (Joint-Venture with Coca-Cola, Beverage Partners Worldwide)
Enviga (Joint-Venture with Coca-Cola, Beverage Partners Worldwide)
Milo
Carnation
Caro
Nesquik
Libby’s
Growers Direct Organic Fruit Juices
Good Host
Juicy Juice
Ski up and go (Yogurt and Cerial drink)

Shelf stable

Bear Brand
Carnation
Christie
Coffee-Mate
Dancow
Gloria
Klim
Milkmaid
Molico (now Svelty)
Nespray
Nestlé
Nesvita
Nestlé Omega Plus
Nido
Ninho
Svelty
Emswiss
Milo

Chilled

Moça (Brazil)
Chandelle (Brazil, Chile)
LC1 (Switzerland)
Molico (Brazil now Svelty)
Nestlé
Ski
Sollys (Brazil)
Sveltesse (France)
Svelty (Mexico)
Yoco
Munch Bunch (UK)
Le Viennois (France, Belgium, Switzerland)
Nesvita (Philippines, India)
Ninho (Brazil)

Ice cream

Dreyer's
Edy's
Häagen-Dazs (North America and the United Kingdom)
Mövenpick (Switzerland)
Nestlé
Nestlé Drumstick - The Original Sundae Cone
Nestlé Princessa (Poland)
Oreo (Canada)
Peters (Australia)
Push-Up
Skinny Cow


Infant foods

Cérélac

Gerber
Good Start

Lactogen
Nan
NAN HA
NanSoy
Neslac
Nestlé
Nestogen

Nido
Piltti (Finland)
PreNan

Performance nutrition

Nesvita
PowerBar
Pria
Supligen

Healthcare nutrition

Boost
Carnation Instant Breakfast
Nutren
Peptamen
Glytrol
Crucial
Impact
Isosource
Fibersource
Diabetisource
Compleat
Optifast
Resource

Seasonings

Buitoni
Maggi
Carpathia
CHEF
Haoji
Thomy
Totole
Winiary

Frozen foods

Maggi (INDIA)
Stouffer’s
Lean Cuisine
Buitoni
Hot Pockets
Lean Pockets
Papa Guiseppi
Findus (Sweden)
La Cocinera (Spain)
Tombstone Pizza
Jack's Pizza
DiGiorno Pizza
California Pizza Kitchen Frozen

Refrigerated products

Buitoni
Herta
Nestlé
Toll House


Chocolate, confectionery and baked goods

100 Grand Bar
Aero
After Eight
Allens
Animal Bar
Baby Ruth
Bertie Beetle (Australia)
Big Turk (Canada)
Black Magic
Blue Riband
Breakaway
Butterfinger
Butterfinger BB's
Butterfinger Crisp
Cailler
Caramac
Carlos V (candy bar)
Chips Ahoy! (Canada)
Chocolate Surpresa (Brazil)
Coffee Crisp (Canada)
Chunky
Drifter
Fizzfindle
Frigor
Galak/Milkybar
Goobers
Heaven
Hercules Bars (Disney)
Icebreakers
Kit Kat (except in the United States, where it is a Hershey's product)
Lion
Matchmakers
Milky Bar
Minties (Australia)
Mirage
Joff
Munchies
Nestlé Alpine White
Nestlé with Almonds
Nestlé Crunch
Nestlé Crunch Crisp
Nestlé Crunch with Caramel
Nestlé Crunch with Peanuts (Limited Edition)
Nestlé Crunch Pieces
Nestlé Crunch White
Nestlé Milk Chocolate
Nestlé Princessa
Nestlé Wonder Ball
Nestlé Yes (Germany)
Nips
Nuts (Europe)
Oh Henry (except United States)
Peppermint Crisp
Perugina Baci
Polo
Prestígio (Chile, Brazil)
Princessa (Poland)
Quality Street
Raisinets
Rolo (except the United States where Hershey makes it)
Rowntrees
Fruit Pastilles
Jelly Tots
Pick & Mix
Randoms
Fruit Gums
Tooty Frooties
Juicy Jellies
Snowcaps
Smarties
Texan Bar
Toffee Crisp
Toll House cookies
Walnut Whip
Violet Crumble
Yorkie
Munch (only in India)
XXX mints
Milky Bar (India)

Wonka confectionery brands
Nestlé made Wonka Bars to promote the 2005 film adaptation of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl.
Bottle Caps
Donutz
Fizzy Jerks
FruiTart Chews
Fun Dip
Gobstoppers
Laffy Taffy
Lik-M-Aid
Nerds
Nerds Gumballs
Nerds Rope
Oompas
Pixy Stix
Rainbow Nerds
Runts
SweeTarts
SweeTarts Rope
SweeTarts Shockers
Tart 'n' Tinys
Thrills
Wonka Bars
Wonka Xploders

[edit]Foodservice products

Chef-Mate
Davigel
Minor's
Santa Rica


[edit]Petcare

Alpo
Beneful
Cat Chow
Dog Chow
Fancy Feast
Felix
Friskies
Go Cat
Butchers
Bakers
Winalot
Gourmet
Mighty Dog
Mon Petit
ONE
Pro Plan
Purina
Tidy Cats


[edit]Related with other companies

Nestlé owns 30% of the world's largest cosmetics and beauty company L'Oréal and its brands including Garnier, Maybelline, and Lancôme as well as The Body Shop stores.
Nestlé owned 100% of Alcon. In 2008 Nestlé sold 24.8% of Alcon shares to the Swiss pharmaceutical giant Novartis. In 2010 Nestlé sold another 52% of Alcon to Novartis. Novartis paid a total of 39.1 bn US$.

boycot Nestle

*A caveat on this blog. I am trying my best to express myself clearly, but I am recovering from back surgery. Please forgive any ramblings.


I try my best not to do anything political on my blog. But I have been encouraged by my roomie's boycott of Nestle to do some research on the company, so I think my next few blogs will be about Nestle. I am nearly speechless by what Nestle does which is causing the deaths of millions of children in the third world yearly! How are they still in business?! Why isn't someone in jail over this?!

Here is the deal: If you are an American or a European, I am not railing about your choice to breastfeed or not. That really sin't any of my business. My business is the thousands of Afghan children who I am trying to save every year. In developing countries, breastfeeding isn't a choice, it is a necessity. I cannot tell you how many children that I have seen who are dead or dying due to the fact that their mothers didn't breastfeed. For these women, it wasn't their choice, they were tricked into giving their children formulas.

One child I wrote about earlier in my blog. Her parents did not understand that for every ounce of water they put into the bottle, they needed a scoop of formula. She was starving because they weren't feeding her enough. For another child, his mother was using well water to fill the bottle. The well water was contaminated by all sorts of bacteria and parasites. She could not afford to use the gas it takes to heat the water to boil it to kill the bacteria before adding it to the formula. I held this little 1.5 year old boy who MEASURED THE SIZE OF A 1 MONTH OLD! Thankfully he is doing better now, but it was touch and go for a while.

Nestle gives out milk in third world hospitals to women who do not know the dangers of giving formula to their children. Once the woman gets out of the hospital, their breastmilk having already dried up, the free milk dries up and they then have to buy it, and realize they cannot afford it. So besides what I mentioned above, the dirty conditions and diluting the milk too much, I have seen women giving their children watered-down sweetened condensed milk, as well as tea with sugar.

Other problems such as RSV and pneumonia show up, because these babies have not received the "inoculations" that their mother's breastmilk would normally provide to newborns.

No matter what side of the breast-feeding issue you fall on in the west, there is no question that in the third world, there is simply no other alternative for childhood nutrition (unless the mother is HIV positive, a problem that is not addressed in this blog) Please research Nestle (you can google Nestle boyott, or get on youtube and do a Nestle boycott search), and if you agree that their practices are unethical (and actually criminal) please join me in this boycott.

And, do some research on which companies that Nestle owns. Many companies have a different name, but are owned by Nestle.

Not on FB update

Made it safely to Dubai, heading home in about an hour.